By Marian Gage
I just celebrated my seventh Mother’s Day as a mother. As always, I got to sleep in. It’s the one day of the year when I am guaranateed a sleep-in. I can start the day slowly. I can shower and get dressed alone without my kids asking for everyting from breakfast to that puppy dog hair clip my daughter got in a loot bag three years ago and now just remembered. My husband whisks the kids away early (ususally in their pajamas). They come back at a much more civilized time with coffee and my kid-made gifts they created at school. We enjoy the rest of the day together. It’s all very nice.
On Father’s Day my husband knows he can expect the same royal treatment.
THis makes me think about so many of the divorce cases I’ve had where we’ve been negotiating Mother’s Day and Father’s Day schedules for children. I’ve had some really nasty cases, as I’m sure most of us have, where Dad doesn’t want to take the kids to see Mom on Mother’s Day because it’s “his” weekend and they’re going for bruch with Grandma, or where the parents fight over time, down to the minute, that they will spend with the children on each of these special days.
In high conflict cases parents can end up spending outrageous amounts of time and money arguing over minutes – will the children be home the night before, or by 7:00a.m. so that Dad can spend the entire day with them on Father’s Day, or will it be noon after breakfast with Mom and Grandpa?
There is, of course, a much more enjoyable way to spend the holiday, even if you’re separated. Mom…why not sleep in on Mother’s Day and let Dad wake up at the crack of dawn with the kids, and bring them over later? Why not reciprocate on Father’s Day and give Dad the same opportunity? Or, if your former spouse just loves waking up early with the kdis, why not offer a break later on in the day?
Separated parents who work collaboratively can find a way to enjoy all of the Mother’s Day/Father’s Day perks on their special days. It’s worth exploring!
Marian G. Gage
O’Connor MacLeod Hanna LLP
700 Kerr Street
Oakville, ON L6K 3W5
Profession: Family Law Lawyer
Tel: 905.842.8030 x3312
Fax: 905.842.2460
gage@omh.ca
www.omh.ca