By Paul K. Steckley
The Collaborative Process is unique in that fostering a strong working relationship between the separating couple is crucial to a successful resolution. The more traditional forms for resolution (litigation, negotiations, arbitration, and sometimes even mediation) more often than not involve people that dislike, if not detest, each other and can’t work together effectively (else they would have chosen a different resolution process). People that choose the Collaborative Process at least have a desire to attempt to set aside their differences and work towards a common goal, and they specifically choose to do so in a way that is respectful and, hopefully, cordial. The Process requires spouses to work closely together, on a fairly frequent basis, and this requires a relationship that is built on mutual respect.
The key to creating an atmosphere that will enhance such a relationship is building trust between the spouses: trust that may have become eroded during the separation. One way to build such trust is by ensuring that each party comes to the table with all of their cards laid out in plain sight. If someone suspects that their former partner is holding something back, they naturally become distrustful and are unlikely to actively listen to the needs of the other person, which is a crucial step in the Collaborative Process. If one spouse suspects that the other is hiding assets, for instance, they are more likely to be reluctant to trust that spouse’s claims that the children are of utmost importance to them, for example. Distrust can seep into other areas of discussion and derail the entire Process.
As such, it is vitally important for the spouses to provide full disclosure of all relevant information during the Process. This information includes full financial disclosure and all other information that is relevant and important to understanding the issues at hand and resolving them. Once their other spouse sees that nothing is being hid, their natural defensive posture softens and then they can then truly embrace all the aspects of the Process. Full disclosure fosters trust which creates a stronger working relationship which leads to a better Process that has a higher chance of being successful.
In addition, full disclosure can ensure that the final Separation Agreement, in the document that the spouses and their professionals have worked so hard to complete, stands the test of time. Spouses that have trusted each other throughout the process are more likely to stand by their Agreement, because they won’t have in the back of their minds that nagging suspicion that they were hoodwinked in some manner by their former partner that leads them to question the validity of the Agreement. And, if, for whatever reason, one does decide to question the Agreement, it has a greater chance of being found by a Court to be enforceable if full disclosure was made throughout the process. It is truly a wasteful exercise to engage professionals and spend a great deal of time and money to create a Separation Agreement that is ultimately set aside simply because full disclosure wasn’t made during the collaborative Process. Separation is a difficult emotional journey for anyone to undertake, and while the Collaborative Process can soften that journey somewhat, it’s not something that anyone wishes to relive years from now. Full disclosure can make the process work efficiently and effectively now, and also provide comfort and stability for the future.
Paul Steckley, B.A. (Hons), LL.B.
102-2680 Matheson Boulevard East
Mississauga, ON, L4W 0A5
Profession: Family Law Lawyer
Tel: 905-487-5467
Fax: 905-487-5465
paul@paulsteckley.com
www.paulsteckley.com